The Power of Awesome-ness

There’s this feeling that I believe everyone gets once in a while. It’s that feeling of supreme invincibility- like nothing can go wrong no matter what you do.

Or at least, that’s what you believe.

And what’s weird is that it hits at the most random of times. Sometimes you’re not expecting it.

For me, it’s really random. Super random.

The other day, for instance, as I was downstairs doing my daily workout, I had the sudden feeling that without doubt I would be able to perform a back-flip.

Even though I had absolutely minimal training in gymnastics and could barely accomplish a front roll without wheezing in pain after, I received that feeling of awesome-ness.

So there I was, all alone in my basement- nothing but me and a hard wood floor.

Perhaps it was also the loud, upbeat music that gave me the belief that I could do a back-flip.

And so I did a back-flip.

And it did not turn out well.

The problem is, I get the feeling of awesome-ness a lot. I constantly get the feeling that i’m on top of the world and that I can accomplish things that i’ve never been able to accomplish before.

But of course, like the back-flip incident, with almost every attempt comes awful failure.

And I like to run away when there’s failure because it frightens me that I can’t do something and it’s embarrassing because I had told myself otherwise.

So I shy away and think about my actions in regret.

This stays with me for a long time and I never think about attempting such a thing again.

And then the feeling of awesome-ness hits me again, for absolutely no reason, and I laugh at my mistakes.

And then I believe I can conquer!

And then I fail.

And then I regret.

And then awesome-ness hits again.

It’s a tiring cycle that I can’t seem to control and haven’t really found a cure to.

But maybe I don’t need a cure. Maybe by failing, i’m practicing and eventually i’ll get it- though it will take longer than the average person.

You know what they say. Practice makes perfect?

Plus, doesn’t everyone get the feeling of awesome-ness? That shouldn’t make me feel so bad- though I haven’t quite found anyone yet.

I don’t know- maybe i’m just an alien.

Psychic Powers

Hello all.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Ana and I am 18 years young.

I'm probably an alien, because what you will read on this blog will make you think "What the hell? That's not normal!"

Or maybe it is normal, and i'm just weird and naive.

Or maybe you're abnormal too!

Anyway, because intros are boring, I will stop writing one and get to my first entry which is a little story about how I thought I had psychic powers when I was younger.

I think it was because I had watched X-men the night before. I kind of have this problem- it's like after I watch a movie (especially action or horror) I feel like it's still happening except I'm the star of the movie and I have to solve the conflicts of my life the way the main character of said movie would. This usally lasts 1 to 2 days depending on how engrossed in the film I am.

I don't think i'm ever going to watch Jumanji again.

Anyway-

I woke up that morning and I just knew that I could read minds.

I usually take the bus to school and I always like sitting at the back because it makes the bus ride bumpy. I know you like it too, don't deny it.

So that particular day, I sat down and decided that if I could really read minds I could also control peoples' minds and get them to do things.

But of course I didn't want to just jump right in and make them do crazy stuff- so I decided that I would control them to look at me and smile.

My first victim was this tall, balding man with a suitcase. He picked his spot to sit, which happened to be right in front of me, and then opened up a newspaper he had also been carrying.

I closed my eyes for a second and then full out glared at him, concentrating as hard as I could.

This is what I looked like:

Nothing happened though but I wasn't going to give up easily. I decided that I would control him in an easier way like make him turn a page. So I neared my eyes together and glared at him again...

...and he actually turned a page!

I was overjoyed by this, completely ignoring the fact that it could have been coincidental and he had finished reading the page before.

I felt super proud and confident! So confident that I thought of him as a weak speciman and decided on my next victim.

I turned to this little girl who was standing with her mother and began glaring at her, hoping she would turn to look at me!

She did, but then she turned to her mom and pointed at me.

Of course, I was still like this:

And her mother became genuinely concerned and told her not to stare at people less fortunate than her.

But I was on a roll, and I wasn't going to let that puny comment bring me down.

When I got home, I went to my mother and told her I could read minds and that I was psychic. She turned to me and sat me down on her bed. This is how the conversation went.

MOM: What am I thinking about right now?

ME: It doesn't work like that, you have to give me some time.

MOM: But you're psychic, you should be able to use your power.

ME: I can't control it on demand!

MOM: Then how do you know you were actually reading their minds? You could have just been imagining their thoughts.

ME: I just knew.

MOM: You want that for dinner?

ME: What?

MOM: I just read your mind and you told me that you want broccoli for dinner.

ME: No! You're wrong!

MOM: See, I thought I was reading your mind but I was just thinking what I wanted you to be thinking.

ME: Okay fine. But I can make people do things!

MOM: Oh my gosh, so can I. I predict that you're going to blink in the next 20 seconds.

ME: No, I won't.

MOM: Okay.

I blink within 20 seconds.

ME: That's not fair!

MOM: No, you're not psychic. You think you're an X-Man but you're not. If you want, I can make you your favorite salad.

My mother likes to bring me back to reality and then go off on a tangent.

She also calls me dramatic.

I am NOT dramatic.

She may think i'm not psychic but I know I am. I just haven't mastered it yet.

I know all of you have thought, at some point, that you had magic powers or a special ability! ADMIT IT!

I dunno- Maybe i'm just an alien.